Q: Should I move me and my kids to follow my amazing BF to another state?

all personal emotions aside... kids first. they've already had too many changes and trauma and uprooting them from what they have left of what they have known is more stress and trauma... and then the possibility of a court thing if there is moving from their father is more stress than anyone ever needs on top of what already is. we live for our kids now and what they need most is stability... and the only source of that is you.

i would also think long and hard about the guy's intentions. is he testing you? i suggest people don't move in, especially move away together without a ring AND being married. statistically, it is self sabotage.. enough books and research on this matter.... there are exceptions yes but the odds aren't good. if he's willing to commit and go through all that process - and complete it and not just say it - then move with him because you are husband and wife and family.

if you two are meant to be, he will be wherever he is and come back for you because he can't be without you and he will slap on a ring on that finger and marry you. this is what happened to me and things are great.

don't accommodate and chase him. you are tow separate lives and people first. maybe the fear and the hurt is that if he does go, he may not come back for you. it may seem hard to see right now, but if he doesn't pull through and come back, then you have an opportunity to meet an even better person than this guy.

and if he were to stay and he really wants to move, he won;t be fully himself while he is with you and it will be expressed in all sorts of negative ways toward you down the road... used as ammunition against you. the only way to really avoid a dissonance between you two is if one's priorities change and I'm hoping that yours isn't the one to change.

meanwhile, don't be in love with the idea of being something with someone but instead be happy with yourself, your children and your situation with or without any guy. and when you are, and the perfect guy comes along, then everything will go smoothly and there is no hurt. love isn't supposed to hurt and it sounds like this one does.

I heard someplace, "don't just follow your heart, you've gotta lead your heart...." to do the right thing.